Pigeons Flying

Forgiveness as an Act of Self-Love

Hurt people hurt people.

Charles Eads

When someone hurts you, forgiving him/her helps release you from a negative attachment to that person. It allows you to let go of any anger and resentment that could otherwise poison you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Visualize yourself cutting an energy cord between you and the other person

Forgiving someone does not mean that you owe him/her your trust again; not all people are deserving of your trust. Whether it is a family member, friend, colleague, or stranger we need to keep healthy boundaries.

Look at people as they are instead of how your wish them to be

If someone causes you harm, take time to reflect on what happened instead of repressing your emotions surrounding the event(s).

Oftentimes, it is not about you, there could be many factors involved, such as mental illness, personality disorders, maladaptive behaviours, scapegoating, projection, jealousy, etc.

When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.

Nelson Mandela

Letting go of anger, resentment, or the need for revenge helps to set you free from the person who caused harm and allows you to stay aligned to who you truly are―rather than getting pulled into someone else’s dysfunction.

SHOWING UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION, AND FORGIVENESS TO OTHERS WILL HELP YOU TO PRACTICE THE SAME FOR YOURSELF

In the end, it’s not your responsibility to change people or fix them; they have to want it for themselves. Your personal power grows when you focus on the things that you have control over, such as your own behaviour and responses.

Without judging yourself and others as inherently “good” or “bad”, it helps to take an honest look at any behaviours you may need to change to prevent a future recurrence. For instance, you can examine whether your behaviour and reactions were potentially toxic, whether you are surrounding yourself with trustworthy people, etc.

Young man sitting on the floor of living room with big window.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Epictetus

We have all hurt people at one time or another, either intentionally or unintentionally, and we have all been hurt. Most of us did our best with what we knew at the time.

Mistakes are experience, and experience brings wisdom.

We are all interconnected. What we do to others we do to ourselves in the end. Our choices in life tend to come full circle.

Understanding, compassion, and forgiveness are the key to empowering ourselves and others to learn and grow from mistakes.

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